As I sat chatting on line this afternoon, I suddenly heard chewing sounds – someone was eating crackers in the cabinet in my office. Hoping it was Lucky Dawg or Rebel, I went tearing through the house.
Unfortunately both were in the den sitting with their eyes glued to their favorite television show – America’s Funniest Home Videos. I swear, Lucky was giggling and Rebel was rolling in the floor.
That meant something scary was in my cabinet, eating crackers. I had to call my son Braddock to come over, pretending I had a computer problem. When he arrived I handed him a golf club and told him I had a giant rat in the closet.
He rolled his eyes – this happened once before about seven months ago and we never found a rodent or anything else in the house. But like the good son he is, he sighed and opened the cabinet and began poking around.
“Aha,” he said, “There he is.” I ran screeching out into the yard while the neighbors looked on curiously. Braddock emerged from the house with an envelope containing the monster.
“Here’s your giant rat,” he said. He dumped a beetle on the grass. A big fat beetle. A big cracker eating beetle. I could still see the crumbs.
I apologized and offered to take Braddock out for sushi. So, all’s well that ends well. He’s probably home now looking for a job in another city.