Forget swine flu – I’ve got the beetle bug


As I sat chatting on line this afternoon, I suddenly heard chewing sounds – someone was eating crackers in the cabinet in my office.  Hoping it was Lucky Dawg or Rebel, I went tearing through the house.

Unfortunately both were in the den  sitting with their eyes glued to their favorite television show – America’s Funniest Home Videos.  I swear, Lucky was giggling and Rebel was rolling in the floor.

That meant something scary was in my cabinet, eating crackers.  I had to call my son Braddock to come over, pretending I had a computer problem.  When he arrived I handed him a golf club and told him I had a giant rat in the closet.

He rolled his eyes – this happened once before about seven months ago and we never found a rodent or anything else in the house.  But like the good son he is, he sighed and opened the cabinet and began poking around.

“Aha,” he said, “There he is.”  I ran screeching out into the yard while the neighbors looked on curiously.  Braddock emerged from the house with an envelope containing the monster.

“Here’s your giant rat,” he said.  He dumped a beetle on the grass.  A big fat beetle.  A big cracker eating beetle. I could still see the crumbs.

I apologized and offered to take Braddock out for sushi.  So, all’s well that ends well. He’s probably home now looking for a job in another city.

3 thoughts on “Forget swine flu – I’ve got the beetle bug

  1. Emily,

    Glad you got to the ah, bottom of this at long last! That had to be creepy, hearing a rat on the loose and not seeing it all this time. Glad that mystery’s solved at long last!

    You reminded me of something that happened after my sister moved to Galveston for Medical School. She was living in an old building between the water and the school buildings at the time.

    Since she would have to go outside to get the stairs to the common kitchen if she got hungry at night while up late studying, Mother had gotten her one of those styrofoam (sp) ice chests for her room, so that she could keep a few things cool in there to nibble on.

    Welp, one time when Mother stopped by on one of her trips down there, she stopped off to see her a minute, and happened to notice that her ice chest was no longer sitting where it usually sat, so she asked Kay what had happened to it.

    Kay replied, “I had to get rid of it — the roaches were keeping me up at night chewing on it!” That’s the waterfront for ya!

    On another occasion, one of the residents had posted a dead roach on a 3″ by 5″ card to the common area room bulletin board by impalling (sp) it with a dissection pin. On the 3×5 card were the words, “Can you top this?”
    That thing must’ve been as long as that card, and almost as wide!

    Ooooh! Now I’m going to sleep with one eye open all night!


  2. Em,

    Think I got one of which you speak. You are to be commended for staying on topic with all that terror going on.

    Whew! Glad all that’s over!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *