A walk on the wild side

1-take-a-walk-on-the-wild-side-anne-elizabeth-whiteway

As the months and years fly by, the reality of aging has crept up and passed me on the freeway of life.

The time has come to let go of some of the outdated rules of conduct that have ruled my life for too long.

wild

I’ve never run around the house with scissors, or worn white shoes before Memorial Day. And I’d never, ever, wash my darks with my whites.

We get only one life, and I’ve been living mine on low beam. Maybe it’s time to walk on the wild side, let my imagination run wild and toss convention to the winds. 

To test my new modus operandi, here’s what I did this week to break the rules and walk on the wild side:

*I rode a bike without a helmet.  (Okay, so what if the bike was glued to the floor, inside the gym.) 

*I walked the treadmill at the same gym without holding on to the rails. I tried chewing gum at the same time, but maybe I’m not ready for that just yet; 

*I went to a movie all alone.  I’ve never done that in my entire life.  Unfortunately I couldn’t stay because the picture was so badly out of focus. (Couldn’t be my eyes, no way.)

*I went to McDonald’s and bought a cheese burger and fries without guilt. Of course, in true “senior” fashion, I had dinner at 4 p.m. – and ordered from the $1 menu.  Now that was exciting!

*I cooked a gourmet dinner for friends wearing a strapless gown.  Unfortunately I spoiled the effect by wearing sweats underneath.

*I wore my I-Pod to the Piggly Wiggly even though the batteries have been dead for two years.  It irked me that the check out clerk thought I was wearing a hearing aid.

alive Undaunted, I drove home, put on a pair of baggy jeans, a sideways baseball cap and danced along to a hip-hop video on MTV.    For the first time in his life, my bulldog, Rebel, broke into a wide toothy grin!

In the words of George Jones, “I ain’t ready for the junkyard yet. ‘Cause I still feel like a new Corvette.  It may take a little longer, but I’ll get there. 

“I don’t need no rockin’ chair.” Well, at least not yet.

 

3 thoughts on “A walk on the wild side

  1. Ms. Jones

    I am a very recent new resident of Starkville, MS

    So, I am not sure if you are a local writer… but I just want to tell you that I literally laughed out loud while reading your article in the Sunday edition of the Starvkille Daily News, today, Sunday April 10.

    I have a sneaky suspicion that we are around the same age…

    The “outdated rules of conduct” must have been handed out to new mothers in the 1950’s era as I also were chastised if I even walked fast with scissors… and my “suthun belle” mother was a stickler on the “NO white before Labor day rule”.

    When I got to the part about the Piggy Wiggly clerk and your ipod, I was close to tears… from laughing.

    I’m seriously impressed… I don’t as of yet own an I Pod… as I am quite sure that if I ever learned to turn it on… I would never understand how to download songs that I like… in fact, the songs that I like are probably not even on the song list.

    What a great attitude you have, and I for one look forward to more of your “ageless” humor.

    Thanks from “over 50 but still feel about 20 (some of the time) NEW Mississippian.

  2. I’m as local as you can get, and can’t wait to meet you. I don’t think I’m going to be doing the column any longer so please log onto deludeddiva.com. I like your attitude also, and we should get together. We’ll meet at the Piggly Wiggly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *