I could probably start all of my writings with "Is it just me?" I should probably just make that my lead in to everything I write. I hope it is just me because if it isn’t, there are a whole lot of confused, "deluded" people out there.
For example, I know that somehow without scientists catching on, the world has started spinning faster. I mean that could explain so much.
I know I am 62 now (ouch that even
hurt to write). My fingers hovered over the 6 key and the 2 key for a few minutes before I could even write that. However, I would SWEAR to you that it was just last year that my 38 year old daughter and 28 year old son were playing soccer and Little League. I was the soccer mom and team mom, organizing whose turn it was to bring snacks to the games.
I feel like I have gone into a coma, and woke up to see two adults claiming to be my children. He has a five o’clock shadow, and she is some woman with teenagers. You want to scream "Who are you and what happened to my babies?"
I have always hated that old cliche of "whew, time does fly, doesn’t it?" I mean it did always seem to go kind of fast, but we are talking whirlwinds now. I KNOW that garbage day is Tuesday, but Tuesday used to come just once a week. Now it comes every other day.
I can still hear myself screaming out my children’s names at their games. It is almost palpable, and when I drive by and see other children out there playing and hear their parents screaming their names and cheering them on, that pang hits me.
You know the pang, or is it just me again? The one that inwardly cries or smiles when some memory is triggered? A smell can do it, a child’s voice, a picture, a video, any number of things can do it.
How many times has a smell taken you back? Maybe it was the smell of baby lotion or powder and suddenly you are smiling and seeing your own baby when you were bathing them.
Maybe it was the smell of your mom baking when you ran in the house from school that you thought you smelled when you entered a bakery, then there comes the memory. Your mom with an apron on, you know our moms wore aprons a lot, we dummies just get grease spots on our clothes. The apron definitely needs to make a come back.
I personally can see my daughter being placed in my arms for the first time when I smell baby lotion. It is like time travel, I am suddenly transported back to that Air Force hospital in Germany in 1973 holding my first child. It is actually like I am there, the memory is so real. I don’t even know why I ever even bothered taking videos back in the day. There has only been a very small time frame that I was able to look at them without blubbering. I think I could only watch them the day I shot them.
Sometimes I wonder if it is a gift that I remember so much or a curse. I have a friend who can not remember specific events from his whole life! He remembers vague generalities, but nothing really concrete. I mean I can remember what I had ON back in 1956 on my first day of school.
He can’t remember first grade at all much less what he wore. Sometimes I think he is lucky to just be in la la land and live in the moment. I think that would come in handy for the sad memories, but I wouldn’t want to forget that memory of my babies being put in my arms, or watching THEM go marching into school on their first day.
It is too bad I can’t just choose the memories I want to keep. Even my sister relies on my memories. HA Don’t tell her that it was actually me that bit her finger halfway off when we were little instead of the other way around. I have gotten a lot of mileage out of her guilt over that one.
I know a lot of you baby boomers have gotten this reaction. You still think of yourself as fairly younger than you are until some cruel, lying, idiot asks you if you want the senior discount. Or how about this one, they ask you at the doctor’s office if you are on Medicare? No I am not, but you will be on disability if you are being serious.
Hey I know I am almost there, I am getting social security this month, but no one but me is supposed to know THAT. And what about getting stopped for speeding? I am sitting there thinking I am still cute trying to talk my way out of the ticket, and this young Mr. Policeman is writing out my ticket not even looking at this old lady trying to flirt her way out of it like she used to be able to do.
That reminds me of the becoming invisible part . Did you know that when we baby boomer girls hit 50, we mysteriously become invisible?? Heads that used to turn to look at us, obviously have blinders on. Orrr, is it that they are seeing an aging, sagging, wrinkling woman walking by instead of the hot babe we know we still are?
I remember I used to be insulted when a man would just stare at me, and now I practically wave flags to be noticed. Hey, I am not ashamed of that. Why would I be? Being young and cute used to get us help changing flat tires, getting out of tickets, get JOBS, now I am just grateful Triple A still comes to my rescue.
I am serious about the world spinning faster. Time isn’t really just flying by faster, that’s the only thing that could explain all of this. Proof I am right….didn’t a dental exam and getting a filling when you were little take about 10 hours and now it just takes a half hour?
Things are shrinking too now that the world spins faster. Isn’t the house that you grew up in a lot smaller now? It shrank! The school superintendent used to be about 7"3", and now he is 5’2".
Cars have shrunk too. We used to make beds in our car, carry a dozen coolers, and invite all of our cousins to go with us on long trips to Florida. I can’t get a small suitcase and my make-up bag in that space they call a trunk now.
Well I could digress even more, but it is Tuesday, and I have to set the garbage out.