Ballgame interrupted by wardrobe malfunction

em wet I missed the big ball game yesterday between LSU and Mississippi State.

Oh yeah, I went out there during a driving rain storm, and stood around under a leaky tailgate tent and wondered if this was taking “fun” a little too far.  But the disaster occurred as we headed for the game. 

First of all, they took away our umbrellas – they’re about as welcome in the stadium as a fifth of sour mash.  Suddenly, without warning my right shoe just fell apart.  I guess all that slogging through mud and murk just dissolved the glue which seemed to be the only thing holding it together. 

But they are brand new and I’d never even worn them before, I whined.

I knew I wouldn’t make it up all those stairs to our seats so I told my date to go on and I would shuffle over to nearby Barnes and Nobel and see if I could buy some shoes.  That was problematic since I was carrying a grand total of $15 and a tube of lipstick in my jeans pocket. (Barnes and Nobel is a bookstore, but hope floated.)

Without luck, I looked for a familiar face off whom I could borrow “shoe money.”   I was desperate. If I’d had a tin cup I’d have stood at the door and rattled it for change.

I felt like a hobo and looked like one since the rain was still coming down in torrents and my make-up, so carefully applied two hours earlier, was running down my face.  I was shuffling along on one foot dragging the other practically shoeless foot behind me.  I probably looked like a 90 year old woman, and felt like one too.  

What had begun as an exceptionally good hair day had taken a sharp turn.

As I resigned myself to walking home, the other shoe leather turned loose as well. Barefoot and stepping on painfully sharp acorns, I slogged along. walking against the sea of people heading for the game.

Every once in a while I would hear someone call “Emily you’re going the wrong way.”  Like I didn’t know.  By then, a crazed woman had stolen my body and I was somewhere between sobbing  and giggling hysterically.

Exhausted and soaking wet, I just wanting to be home, so I called the person who never let’s me down.

“Braddock, I’m stranded on University Drive dripping wet without any shoes.  Can you come get me?”

malfunction 007I think I heard a sigh.  “Mother, what have you done to yourself this time? I’ll be right there.”

I watched the second half of the game from my recliner, snug and dry – which I should have done in the first place. 

Incidentally, the manufacturer of those ill-fated shoes is “Magic Bus.”  They were magic okay, and not in a good way.  I don’t recommend them.

See above – my Magic Bus slippers – advertised as “comfortably sexy”-resembled dead bats at the end of the day.  Don’t buy them.

8 thoughts on “Ballgame interrupted by wardrobe malfunction

  1. Emily-you can take a catastrophy and make it funny! Sorry about the shoes and the Bulldogs- but didn’t they do GREAT!!! Even my LSU- obsessed spouse said that LSU didn’t deserve to win.

  2. At the end of a very long day, you really relieved any and all stress from your cute article. I’ve really laughed while reading this. Oh, how we’ve all struggled to be so beautiful, when we should all ban together and quit with the makeup and hair. Let’s just cut off what we have left and go bald and natural. lol

  3. You know what – doing this blog is very therapeutic – your note just brought this to my attention – I work through my foibles and bumbles by writing about it!!! What a deal – no shrink necessary….

  4. Did anybody hear about the University of Houston upsetting #1 ranked Texas Tech? It’s been a long time since UofH was on top, and that was before they entered the old Southwest Conference. Back when they were independent, they got to play alot of high ranked schools around the country. They were hardly worth watching for a while there, and now, looks like they are back.

    Now, to my way of thinking, if Tech was #1, shouldn’t UofH be #1 now?
    I haven’t checked the standings as yet, but my hunch is that neither team will be ranked all that high after this weekend’s game. Like ole Rodney, hard to get any respect.

    Martha, you are dead on right — just wash that bald head with a wash cloth and you’re good to go!

    Em, your adventure was hilarious — I could just see you walking along opposite that crowd, dripping wet, carrying your shoes!

    Thanks for the chuckle!

  5. Emily,
    Heard today that UofH plays MSU NEXT. I guess that’s the end of their good fortune — ya think? What kind of team does MSU have this year?

  6. Yes – that’s our homecoming game! We have a new coach and high hopes, but Houston will be tough. We came very close to beating Number 7 ranked LSU this past weekend.

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