Years ago well-meaning neighbors planted bamboo along our fence line. I guess they heard that I was a little crazy and felt they needed a buffer.
The neighbors have been replaced several times, leaving me to battle the monster bamboo by myself. It’s been creeping closer and closer to my house with every passing year.
The roving stalks are coming up between the cracks in my sidewalk and through the floor of my greenhouse. One slithered up in the drain as I was enjoying a bubble bath the other night. (Okay, not really, but I’m expecting that to happen any minute.)
Yesterday, I did an experiment and measured one errant stalk. It grew 24 inches in one day! Some of the stalks are the size of a baseball bat. I tried to pull some up by the roots which were the texture and strength of barbed wire. In fact, I read that bamboo is used as reinforcement for concrete in some countries.
My garden advisor, Shirley, told me to buy some steel–toed boots and go out each morning and kick them down. Supposedly the “kicked stalks” won’t come back. So I canceled my gym membership and I’m “bamboozling” for 30 minutes each morning.
On the brighter side, the exercise has become a healthy means of releasing stress and pent-up emotions.
So chalk one more up for China where these monsters originated and are a delicacy enjoyed by Panda bears. Anyone know where I can buy a Panda?
My friend, Ann, had a good idea. She suggested I put a sign in my front yard advertising “Free Fishing Poles, Pick Your Own.”
So, I’m declaring war on bamboo, but I may be forced to turn my garden into a parking lot.