First, they nixed smoking and subjected female spectators to purse searches. Now they’ve gone too far.
A new policy at NFL stadiums limits the size of purses to “small clutch bags” roughly the size of a cell phone! Anything more has to be carried in a large clear plastic bag, like the ones you use for sandwiches. How tacky.
Does anyone know a single female out there who can go anywhere for more than 30 minutes with only a sandwich bag revealing her deepest beauty secrets for the world to see? Unthinkable.
If a baggie doesn’t satisfy your sensibility for fashion, you can always go to the attic and find one of your old rubber coin purses. Remember those clever little items from the 50s?
Obviously the NFL is run by men unaware that a woman’s handbag is an extension of herself. Sure, the league says it’s about fan safety and moving lines at the entrance along, blah blah blah, but force a woman to leave that 25-pound shoulder suitcase behind, and you might as well cut off her arm while you’re at it.
So, are you ready for some football? Nah. I’ll be staying home where I can have all my necessities at my side. Security is as near as an extra mascara, and the NFL has figured out a creative way to keep women out of the stadium.