Lost in a digital jungle

lost

I vacillate between thinking that I’m at the cutting edge of technology (after all I CAN use a microwave) to the opposite end of the scale where it seems everybody is running and I’m limping along at the end of the line with a bent cane.

The eternal, world-without-end-amen stream of data is beginning to wear on me.

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Look your age, just don’t act it

hazels-058.jpg

A reader dropped me a note suggesting that I do a post blasting cosmetic companies for using 30-something year-olds to advertise products those kids won’t need for another three decades. Amen, sister. I’m on it.

To be honest this has been bothering me for some time too…like for the last 20 years when I’ve been completely available to help advertise the fountain of youth. I could be the “before,” and the peaches and cream “Gidget” could be the “after”.

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The book without a title

blanI’m a bit distracted because I’m watching the last episode of “The Sopranos”.  If I hear the “F” word one more time or see anyone else’s finger cut off  with a meat cleaver,  I must discontinue television.

The good thing is, I signed a contract today for a book deal.  The book doesn’t have a title because my editor hasn’t figured out who we are trying to reach.

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Now where did it go?

search again

I figure I spend about an hour a day searching for things I’ve misplaced. The Land of Lost Stuff is exactly like a black hole, sucking in tax receipts and dog leashes, bank statements and earrings,and all the other important material bits and pieces of life we put down somewhere but can’t find when we want it (“Wasn’t it just on the toilet tank?”).

Apparently I’m not alone since it’s estimated the average person loses up to nine objects everyday.  Commonly misplaced items includes the cellphone, keys, sunglasses, purse, umbrella, bank card, tablet, documents and wallet.  I can’t find my tax return from last year, but have a drawer full of grocery receipts from 1978.

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