Ok, so I’m a serious sucker, the kind of girl infomercials were made for.
I’ve been holding out for some miracle cream that will wash away wrinkles and lift everything back to its original starting point. When I saw the beautiful Cindy Crawford revealing her most personal beauty secrets I swallowed it lock, stock, and barrel and nowo I have a serious case of indigestion.
The miracle is that I lived through the ordeal to tell about it. Maybe I can save you from a similar torture. Here’s how it went down.
After innocently ordering the starter kit and plunking down my credit card for $39 I waited iimpatiently for this miracle age reverser. Within days a teeny little box showed up with minuscule bottles of something white and greasy. I knew immediately it wasn’t worth the postage but I was willing to pay for my stupidity. I tried to call the company to cancel but was forced to endure a series of robo adds for everything from insurance to a “FREE” trip to the Bahamas. They just went on and on until I thought I would scream.
On the ninth ad, I did scream. Every bad word in my vocabulary and was abruptly disconnected. Meanwhile, a second box arrived with giant sizes of a few of the products and a bill for $101 which apparently I had agreed to by ordering the first “FREE” starter kit for $39. .
When my credit card arrived, the charges totaled $140. Luckily there was a different number on the bill and I finally got a live person at the end of the line. I could tell by the tone of her voice, that my call was the millionth she had received that day. She spoke very little English which is a good thing because I had some choice words for Cindy. She promised to credit my card for the second order and email me a receipt and mailing label so I could return the order. Neither ever arrived.
Today I’m calling the credit card company to tell them I’m not paying for the second order. If they refuse I’m canceling the credit card. I ran over to Brenda’s to check my blood pressure and it was through the roof.
I had the opportunity last week to participate in an international summit on “Aging Consciously”.
All I can say is “WOW” I’m so glad and grateful to be whatever age I am or get to be. Aging is a privilege you know denied to many, and we have a responsibility to address the positive potential of aging. This requires a certain amount creativity. Continue reading
Being a weirdo who loves metaphors, alliterations, and hyperboles, today is a dream day. It’s like New Years and your birthday all rolled into one in terms of reassessing life’s dreams and renewing dedication to reaching them.
Today is Leap Day and tomorrow is March 1. (Leap up and march forward, get it?) This is kind of a bonus day we get for free. Nothing we do today can in any way be charged to our national debt. Let’s take advantage of it because we won’t get another until 2020. Let that sink in without throwing up. Continue reading
I must have slept through February because I glanced at my calendar this morning and was horrified to discover it is almost March! Did we have February this year?
The natural progression of that line of thought was to review progress on my Big 3 New Year’s resolutions. I read that four out of five people will abandon their ambitious resolutions by mid-February. In fact, a third won’t even make it to the end of January. I was feeling all smug and self-satisfied because I’m pretty sure I kept mine…for a full 3-1/2 days. Continue reading
I can’t believe she would do that! Look what she’s’ wearing – what was she thinking?? Euoo, look at that piece of junk she’s driving. (Someone actually said that to my face which made me decide to drive my piece of junk for another 16 years!) She’s such an overbearing person,and I’m a bore. Ugg, my hair looks hideous today. I am ugly. I drive an old car. I should die.
Oh my gosh. Does it never end? This ceaseless judgement we cast on ourselves as well as others is sickening especially in an election year when the politicians and world leaders become the megaphone for the diety. Trust me – none of us are safe from the judgmental scrutiny of ourselves and others.