Early light: Okay guys, time to get cooking

man in kitchen

The first Thursday in November is a very special day for women everywhere.  It is National Men Make Dinner Day. I realize you don’t hear much about it in the media.  Why? Because the media is controlled by men and they prefer for YOU to do all the cooking.

No fair, guys.  Having said that, I realize there are a precious few men out there who  actually do the cooking and marketing.  You have the day off today.

Here are the rules and I challenge our male readers to get in there and help make this holiday a huge success for the women in your life.  (If you have more than one woman in your life, it will be a difficult day.)

Here are the rules:

Rule #1: Man agrees to participate in national men make dinner day. Bonus points if he does so without seeking promise of night out with boys in return.

Rule #2: Man, completely un-aided, chooses a ‘published’ recipe from any source. Getting the recipe from ‘her’ cookbooks is allowed, but man gets bonus points if the recipe isn’t already somewhere in the house.

Rule #3: Main meal must include minimum of 4 ingredients and require at least one cooking utensil other than a fork

Rule #4: Man goes shopping for ‘all’ necessary ingredients. Bonus points if he takes inventory of cupboards and fridge first, before shopping trip. So you don’t end up with two 64 ounce jars of pickled pimentos.

Rule #5: Man organizes all necessary ingredients in order of importance on kitchen counter. At this point, he may need to make a phone call or shout out the word ‘honey’! Followed by a question. This is not allowed.

Rule #6: Man may, if desired, turn on radio or his favourite CD. Man agrees not to be within 30 feet of TV remote during cooking process. At this point, spouse and any other family members should not be anywhere near kitchen. (unless smoke detector goes off!)

Rule #7: Following recipe carefully, man starts to cook dinner! Apron is optional, tool belt is not allowed. (bonus points if recipe includes one of the following : capers, saffron, or the word ‘scallopini’).

Rule #8: (THIS IS CRITICAL)Man must use the ‘clean as he goes along’ rule! Following each completed use of utensils, cookware, half-used jars of anything, spice bottles, etc., everything is rinsed, cleaned and put away

Rule #9: Man sets table, candles are lit, beverages are poured, no ketchup bottles, sour cream containers, or big boxes of salt on table.

Rule #10: Spouse and/or family members are served! This is an opportune time for a photo. Man is ‘allowed’ to gloat no more than three times during the meal. Family is encouraged to congratulate man on job well done. Family dog is not allowed to be secretly fed man’s cooking.

Rule #11: After meal, table is cleared by man, dishwasher is loaded. Man returns to table for stimulating after-dinner conversation. At this point, man is told how much his meal was appreciated. He, in turn, describes the joys and challenges of the experience. He is given a hug, and his TV remote is returned to him.

Rule #12:  If previous rules are too challenging, man may be permitted to take the family out for dinner at the restaurant of their choice.  (My personal preference is Rule #12)

2 thoughts on “Early light: Okay guys, time to get cooking

  1. Fortunately, I didn’t read this till after the first Thursday. I’ll put it on my calendar for 2009–take family to dinner.

  2. I’m sure glad my wife isn’t into reading your “Diva” daily writings! It would give her even more wild ideas to keep me busy!!

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