Five things I won’t be doing this year

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Resolution One:

I won’t be watching ABC since Charlie Gibson has mysteriously disappeared from the evening news, and Diane Sawyer has left Good Morning America. 

Diane has taken Charlie’s place an evening anchor and she’s just too sweet to be delivering hard news.

 

I love Robin Roberts but I hear her new co-host, George Stephanopoulos, agreed to do the gig only if they can move from the soft magazine format to hard news. 

Scratch that. We have enough hard news at it is on Fox and CNN. Why would I want more of same?  Besides I’m annoyed by that weatherman’s phony “guffaw.” So long ABC. Nice knowing ya.

Resolution 2

I won’t be buying one of those new 3-D television sets.  Hey, I just got a flat paneled model and now they come out with something new!

I have a hard enough time holding onto the remote control on my old sets, and I lose at least one pair of glasses per week.  No way am I going to embrace something that requires special glasses unless they start selling them at the Dollar Tree.

Resolution 3

goldengirls I’m giving up my daily dose of Andy Griffith, Golden Girls, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Yes, I know – this is the most difficult resolution because the characters have become like family.

But I have overdosed on these three sit-coms for the past 24 months, and like family, they are beginning to get on my nerves – well, all except Barney.  He will always be my first love.

Sophia in Golden Girls is also bugging me for the way she constantly puts down her daughter.  Feisty is one thing, but grouchy isn’t pretty.

What will I replace them with?  I’m trying to get into those poker matches, but they’re as boring as the golf channel and the shopping networks which are selling little more than hideous and cheap jewelry and useless household items these days.

How many salad shooters and Slap and Chop gadgets does a girl need?

Resolutions 4

I’m giving up purchasing hideously expensive skin care products  which make outrageous claims and offer empty promises.  Have you seen me lately?  Based on the number of creams I’m testing, I should look 25.  Instead I probably look more like 85.

Resolution 5

I will not submit to more “tech torture” by purchasing a “smart phone”. My son is pushing me to get one . I do need a new cell phone because I’ve  dropped my Razor so many times the screen is becoming distorted.  I can’t tell if its if its Ida Cunetto calling, or Idi Amin (isn’t he dead?).

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