Formal has left the building

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The Starkville Area Arts Council is one of those organizations that I support without reservation.  At least I thought so.

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I just learned that our annual Gala next Saturday is formal. The men are asked to wear tuxedos and the women are expected to wear long dresses.

Say what?  I haven’t worn a long dress since the 1970s and I don’t see myself doing it again… unless I should win a pageant with a crown –  like Miss Old Ms. Mississippi.  (Hey I like that idea but I demand a crown.)

My date gave his tux to one of the coaches at Mississippi State seven years ago, and he refuses to go rent one. So we will be the only couple to stand out if only because we are underdressed.

But he can do a mean JitterBug, and a better slow dance. I’m thinking a long dress would just trip us up.

I went through the six closets that house my wardrobe. – five hold things I haven’t worn since the last century and one houses what I wear today.

A cocktail dress I wore to the inauguration of Kirk Fordice in the 1980s caught my eye.  It ‘s black with lots of rhinestones and (gulp) huge shoulder pads.

I’ll try to cut out the shoulder pads.

13 thoughts on “Formal has left the building

  1. Oh Jesus CHrist, Heather, I am so so sorry. Oh my god, oh my god. You can’t kick me out of your livejournal, you can’t. I won’t let you. Responding to your posts is the only thing I have in my life. Oh jesus. Oh jesus. I’m sorry I said those thgins about Fub but he started it and the way he looks at me makes me so mad. I’m so sorry I hurt you Heather. I know how much you love Battle Royale and it does have it’s good qualities just like I have good qualities. Just don’t overlook them like I stupidly overlooked Battle Royale’s good qualities. Oh, Jesus Christ please, Heather, you’ve got to forgive me, you’ve just got to. Give me a second chance. I love the fact that you love Japanese stuff. I just give you crap about it because I wish I had a better understanding of Japanese film and culture. I know that my posts will completely delight you from now on. They’ll be the highlight of your day. I’ll even include recipes for foods I know you like, like yogurt and chilean sea bass. I’m at the end of my rope here. I can’t lose you, and I can’t lose the only means of communication I have with you. I guess I just get so antagonistic because I’m so jealous that I’m not the only one in your life and I also get surly because Fub makes me that way sometimes but I guess I’m more mature than Fub and I should just let him act like the petulant child. Oh, Jesus, I’m so sorry that I used cuss words in front of your parents. Have your parents call me and curse at me, have them use any and all profanities at their disposal. My number is 323 632 3546. Have them call me any time of the day or night and tell them to even combine sex curse words with defecation curse words. Tell them to call me every name in the book. Tell them to get a book of shakespearean insults and mix and match with modern stuff. Anything ANythInG! You’ve got to let me keep posting. In all seriousness, I was recently diagnosed with IBS and posting on your jounral is the only thing that takes me out of the pain and suffering I feel daily. You’re so smart and I’m so stupid and I was only jealous I wasn’t at Pizza Royale again. I still remember being there a couple years ago watching Battle Royale and Ryan Raddatz bragging about how he knew the boom operator. I just wanted to be there again. Oh, Jesus, Heather, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, let me have one more chance. I’m begging you. I won’t let you down this time. I promise. I swear to god, I promise you. I am writing this on my knees. I’m praying to you, Heather. I’m praying to you, Heather. I AM PRAYING TO YOU. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you more than Sophie. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

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