Sounds like something you would read on the back of the National Inquirer, doesn’t it? Well, I’ve got a fool proof method for guaranteed weight loss.
I wrote about my Earth Day commitment and I’m here to report it had mixed results. I did not crank my truck, nor pollute the atmosphere with any kind of fumes including hairspray which was a bummer. I walked everywhere including the grocery store, the hardware store and the library. Hang on – I’m getting to the weight loss part.
After walking to Jiggly Wiggly for coffee, I arrived home to begin work on the Earth around my house. I needed that thingy you hook onto the hose to water my new plantings – so I put Rebel on his leash and we strolled to the Ace Hardware. While there I remembered I needed some potting soil – 20-pounds was the smallest bag they had, but the clerk showed me how to tuck it under my arm so that it would be a breeze to transport. Yeah, right.
I made it about one half mile when Rebel decided he couldn’t walk another step. He sat down and refused to move. I hoisted the 20-pound pooch under my left arm and balanced him with the 20 pound sack on my right. We trudged along the road as my heart raced and my arms began to go numb.
We finally arrived home and I dropped the bag and the dog and collapsed on the sofa. But I was 40 pounds lighter and let me tell you, it felt good.