I forgot how to cook


So what is it?

I’m not sure when it happened…sometime since Easter of 2007 when I served the last meal I was truly proud of. That’s about the same time I retired from the working world and became a bum.


For Father’s Day,  I was really going to put on the dog.  So few of us “Children of the Greatest Generation” can still honor our living parents. I am one of the lucky ones and my Daddy is the best.

I went to the Farmer’s Market on Saturday and purchased all kinds of fresh vegetables, then proceeded to mush them into something my garbage disposal didn’t even recognize.  Why did I do that?  They would have been delightful on their own.

I spent hours battering and frying fresh eggplant, then ruined them by trying to make a lasagna.  I topped those luscious fried eggplant with tomato sauce and cheese and came up with a something that didn’t even resemble eggplant or taste the way it did when they came out of the skillet. Fresh vegetables should be served naked.

The first rule of cooking should be: If you can’t recognize it, you failed.

I made a “Key Lime Pie” that should have been called the “Hidden In The Dirt Key Lime Pie.”  You used two ingredients:  Lime Jello and Cool Whip.  Hideous and distasteful.  Don’t believe those Jello ads. The only edible thing on my menu was Brenda’s wonderful corn.  I cooked ten ears and they were all gone at the end of the meal.  The Eggplant  and pie will go to the raccoons.

No Jello will ever be served at 400 S. Montgomery in this generation. No eggplant lasagna.

Thank you very much Rachel Ray.

2 thoughts on “I forgot how to cook

  1. Emily, I can vouch for the fact that while this meal might have been a failure, it was by no means representative of your recent skills! I cooked for my Daddy and his youngest brother today. My cousin from St. Louis suppled the dessert! It was fun and yes, we are very lucky to have our Dads.

  2. Oh Please – tell Ben I love him and miss him. I didn’t realize his youngest brother was still living. I heard Hollis came up to see you this week? When are you coming home?

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