I knew it! I plunked down the dollars to straighten my teeth, knowing full well, I would be hit by a bus once my smile was back.
I would be dead but no one would know I died with a great smile.
After six months, my teeth are straight again, but I ruptured a disc and now I will be dragging around my right leg for eternity. Since I blew all my money on my smile, I can’t afford to fix my leg.
Just call me Chester.
I went from orthodontist to orthopedist. No one should fool around with mother nature.
Braddock took me to the spine doctor today and I’m a sitting candidate for his knife. I refused, and the doctor (who was wearing a retainer himself and still had acne) measured my thighs and announced that my right leg had lost two inches.
“And that’s bad why?” I asked. “If you can make my left thigh lose two inches, I will be a perfect woman.”
He had no sense of humor. I’m getting a second opinion.