Is geriatric jewelry in your future?


Q:How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?

A:Only one, but it might take her   all day.

Okay, okay.  We’ve heard them all, and I continue to resent every single little old lady joke that comes down the pike. I’m not sure why, except that I’m dangerously close to being defined as “old”.  (My definition excludes anyone under the age of 60 and since I’m only fifty-twelve, I’ve got eight good years left.)

But I had a point to make – what was it?  Oh yeah.  My friend Hugh sent me the entire article I alluded to earlier this week about taking two aspirin immediately if you begin to get a pain in your jaw or arm (both signs of an impending heart attack).  We decided to begin marketing a line of jewelry – necklaces, bracelets and matching earrings made of aspirin. You can just rip them off and swallow them if you get a pain.

“Get patent papers submitted asap,” wrote Hugh. “Cause I foresee a new South Montgomery Millionaire/Diva in town. Can see your ads now–“Don’t get caught dead in bed without your Deluded Diva medical necklace on”.

I think this holds real promise and it will be a public service to boot.  I KNOW you want to invest in this idea.  We’ll do an infomercial and make millions.  The entire set of aspirin jewelry will sell for $19.99.  Doesn’t everything sell for that?  But this is a REAL bargain because it is life-saving.You have until midnight tonight to sign on….

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