I wake up every day of my life at 4 a.m. I ditched my alarm clock when I retired, but there must be one lurking in my head because my eyes pop open at exactly the same moment day after day.
I love those early hours when the world is quiet and I can make my lofty plans for the day. By 6:30 a.m., I’m pumped on caffeine, and
ready to start the day. There’s nothing I cannot achieve in those early morning hours.
On Saturday, nothing had changed except the Mississippi State Bulldogs were playing the Ole Miss Rebels in the Annual Egg Bowl. I had a date at 9 a.m. to tailgate, so I hopped in the tub and began the exhaustive routine of trying to look passable. (It grows harder and takes longer with each passing year.)
By then, I figured it was around 7 a.m. but it was still dark as night outside.
An hour or so later, still no sun in sight. Overcast, perhaps? The Gods of Good Hair Days smiled on me and I emerged from my “spackling table” looking better than usual.
I went to the door to await my chariot.
Hmmm. It was still dark. This was beyond strange. I went to hunt up my wrist watch, but the battery had died. I clicked on the television to check the time on the channel guide.
What? Were my eyes deceiving me? The guide said it was barely 2 a.m.! How did this happen? That alarm clock in my head was bad on the blink. I bet it had something to do with those staples the doctor put in my head when I cracked it open last week.
And here I was, ready to go out in public and the public was still in bed! I may never look this good again and certainly not seven hours from now. No way could I summons the energy to recreate this Goddess of Delusion.
So, what do you do when it’s 2 a.m. and you’re looking your best and there’s absolutely no one else stirring. I had seven hours to sit erect so my hair and make-up wouldn’t get all squished and smudged?
Bored to tears, I twiddled my thumbs for seven hours and watched infomercials. What a waste of time. But I did order a bowling ball bag from the shopping network. I don’t bowl, but I have an aunt who carries her bowling ball in a Kroger sack. Check one off my Christmas list.
By the time we finally got to the game, I was yawning like crazy and looked a lot like my Thanksgiving turkey which had been warmed over too many times. After all, I’d been up for more than 10 hours and it was bedtime again.
At the end of the day, I didn’t care how I looked. The Dawgs prevailed in a very big way, and that made the effort all worthwhile.