All dressed up and no place to go

Time 003

I wake up every day of my life at 4 a.m. I ditched my alarm clock when I retired, but there must be one lurking in my head because my eyes pop open at exactly the same moment day after day.

I love those early hours when the world is quiet and I can make my lofty plans for the day. By 6:30 a.m., I’m pumped on caffeine, and

ready to start the day.  There’s nothing I cannot achieve in those early morning hours.

On Saturday, nothing had changed except the Mississippi State Bulldogs were playing the Ole Miss Rebels in the Annual Egg Bowl. I had a date at 9 a.m. to tailgate, so I hopped in the tub and began the exhaustive routine of trying to look passable. (It grows harder and takes longer with each passing year.)

By then, I figured it was around 7 a.m. but it was still dark as night outside.

An hour or so later, still no sun in sight.  Overcast, perhaps? The  Gods of Good Hair Days smiled on me and I emerged from my “spackling table” looking better than usual.

I went to the door to await my chariot.


Hmmm. It was still dark.  This was beyond strange.  I went to hunt up my wrist watch, but the battery had died. I clicked on the television to check the time on the channel guide.

What? Were my eyes deceiving me? The guide said it was barely 2 a.m.!  How did this happen?  That alarm clock in my head was bad on the blink. I bet it had something to do with those staples the doctor put in my head when I cracked it open last week.

And here I was, ready to go out in public and the public was still in bed! I may never look this good again and certainly not seven hours from now.  No way could I summons the energy to recreate this Goddess of Delusion.

So, what do you do when it’s 2 a.m. and you’re looking your best and there’s absolutely no one else stirring.  I had seven hours to sit erect so my hair and make-up wouldn’t get all squished and smudged?

Bored to tears, I twiddled my thumbs for seven hours and watched infomercials.  What a waste of time.  But I did order a bowling ball bag from the shopping network.  I don’t bowl, but I have an aunt who carries her bowling ball in a Kroger sack. Check one off my Christmas list.

By the time we finally got to the game, I was yawning like crazy and looked a lot like my Thanksgiving turkey which had been warmed over too many times.  After all, I’d been up for more than 10 hours and it was bedtime again.

At the end of the day, I didn’t care how I looked.  The Dawgs prevailed in a very big way, and that made the effort all worthwhile.

4 thoughts on “All dressed up and no place to go

  1. Dear Emily,
    Would you believe that even the LSU fans I’m surrounded by were rooting for STATE!!! I’m so proud of them! And for you, who keeps those of us in isolation from Mississippi news, abreast of the best!!! Please, please don’t ditch the Diva!!! Those who are fortunate enough to talk to you and socialize with you may not appreciate you enough- us “out-of staters” do!! Keep up the good work, and hope your head injury heals!

  2. Oh, I’ll keep doodling Ann. It keeps me out of trouble! Thank you for the kind words! No joke about the LSU folks – that’s encouraging. That was a great win for us and not a bit too soon. I just learned yesterday that Coach Mullen put a game clock up in the locker room back in January when he came on board – It ticked the days, hour, minutes and seconds to the Egg Bowl. Apparently the guys were so focused on Ole Miss, they forgot about the other nine games!

  3. Emily: Check your cell phone for the time. We have atomic clocks that don’t agree and find the phone is the reliable time. Can you comb your hair with staples in your scalp? Hope you heal fast. Be careful


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