Leave your pride at home

BABEE_thumb  By Sherry White Jeffcoat

“Leave your pride at home.”Uncle Frank used to say that a lot.

He always kept us in stitches, no pun intended, about his hospital stays. He would keep saying "Yep, if you’re going in the hospital you may as well just leave your pride at home."

He was referring especially to the open in the back gowns, butt flapping in the wind ones…you know those…

 

You would think that modern technology would have told "hospital gown making companies" about snaps and Velcro, yet somehow they still like the old string ties that always have one ripped off. Even if they tie, there are still some huge gaps. Have you ever seen anyone in a hospital gown that isn’t falling off one shoulder? Have you ever seen ANYONE with one on stand up without doing the "death clutch" in the back to keep it together?

Uncle Frank should have said be sure to leave both your pride AND your dignity at home because you will have neither at the hospital. Dignity is a strange duck isn’t it?

It manifests itself different ways in different people. For example, DO NOT run into me in Wal-Mart if I don’t have my make-up on. I will not know you, I will dodge you, I will hide behind displays, I will pull my cap down over my eyes, and if you confront me, I will deny being Sherry Jeffcoat. I never even heard of her.

Now take my sister Sandy for instance (or Sandra if you knew her before 1965)  She takes pride in being right, even in the tiniest being right of being rights.

Picture this…..movie theatre 1975…military base in Germany…me paying a fortune for popcorn AND coke. HER asking for water as her drink. THEM telling her it will be the same price as the coke. HER fuming, refusing to pay for water.

THEY tell her of a special "complimentary" cup of water they offer. HER smirking at her win only to be handed a 1 ounce paper cup of water similar to a pee cup, no ice. SHE walks away head held high, tosses her hair, and in a very dignified tone says "thank you!" and walks away dignity intact.

Speaking of Sandy, dignity, and hospitals leads me to her latest MAJOR irritations which I will have to agree with her on. Why is it when you go to the doctor or are in the hospital of no dignity, the nurses, aides, all of them, suddenly start calling you "dear", "honey", "sweetheart",  in a very LOUD voice especially if you are older ?

My 87 year old mother can hear better than I can, and they get in her face yelling  "HELLO SWEETIE PIE HOW ARE YOU TODAYYYYYYYYYY?" Mama has taken to looking over at me rolling her eyes because Sandy hates this practice so much it has become a huge giggle for us.

Maybe you have noticed, it so happens I am in the hospital right now because my mother is here hopefully not for long. Okay here comes the nurse again to check on her…." HOW ARE YOU DOING MRS. WHITE HONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY "

Aunt Linda says we ought to say "JUST FINE SNOOKUMS."

(Editor’s note:  Sherry, you are so right about hiding out when you have not primped for Walmart.  I’m thinking of keeping a Halloween mask in the car and snapping it on when I don’t feel like “putting on the dawg.”)

3 thoughts on “Leave your pride at home

  1. There is a “hospital gown making company” that has thought of hook and loop as a closure (hook and loop is the generic term for Velcro). Our company, Spirited Sisters Inc. designs and manufactures the Original Healing Threads that allows people to maintain their dignity, modesty, and expowerment while healing and recovering. Why depend on a hospital or other medical establishment, including doc offices, to provide you with such a garment? We feel people should buy their own, or send as a gift to someone who is about to undergo any type of medical treatment, and say NO to the standard hospital garb. Thank you!

  2. Hey “Honey”, i

    I did not know you were such a great writer!! Love it!! Send out some more!!

    Pat

  3. I too did not know you were such a great writer. I do know that you have a great sense of humor. All that time you have been sitting with your Mother has given you time to observe and draw conclusions about things in the hospital. Keep it up Jewell

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