Mirrors. Are they good or bad? They tell you if you’ve had too little sleep or too much to eat or if you have a big black smudge on your cheek.
I wonder what life would be like if we didn’t have them. We wouldn’t know if we were too fat or thin. We wouldn’t obsess over that freckle or crooked nose.
Well, we have them, but I’m a bit suspicious.
I went shopping this week at a week at a large department store in a nearby town which will remain nameless to avoid a lawsuit. But I bet I’m not the only one to try on an item of clothing that makes me look fabulous – then get it home and find it makes me look like a bag of potatoes.
This weekend I entered that store to purchase a dress…after wearing pants all winter, I’m ready to return to frills. I took 14 frocks to the dressing room and prepared for the worst since I’m still hanging onto the ten pounds I gained last Christmas.
But Bingo. I looked Maah-va-lous. Where did that extra 10 pounds go? I was thin and svelte and at least two inches taller.
I have always subscribed to the philosophy that I am the perfect weight (for a six foot woman). I’m just a little too short.
But I had grown to a slender 5’ 8″ at least. I bought four of the 14 frocks and rushed home to admire my new wardrobe. On Sunday, I slid into the most favorite and floated to my full length mirror for the big payoff.
WHAT WAS THIS? ?>#*&. Not only did I I look like what I thought I looked like before I went to that store. But I looked worse – short, and well…dumpy.
As my bubble burst, it dawned on me there is an insidious plot being perpetrated against women. They have trick mirrors in the department stores. Remember them? Didn’t you ever visit the house of mirrors at the Memphis zoo?
I truly believe this store has discovered we will buy anything that makes us look thinner or taller and they have tweaked their changing room mirrors to boost sales.
I’m just wondering what they do about the thin people who want to look beefier. Maybe that’s why they have their changing rooms locked. They look at us first and second guess what we’d like to be.
I’m pretty upset about this whole thing. We’re paranoid enough about life as it is – we don’t need the mirror to lie to us too.