My understanding of medical terminology

medical

Being a bonafide “Pinkneck” which is defined as a female redneck, I have picked up a few medical terms you might want to review in case you need to call a doctor or go to the hospital.

 

redneck-merica-funny-17 

Here are commonly used terms heard in Alabama and Arkansas medical facilities.  Here in Mississippi the doctors are way more sophisticated.

You might want to clip this list to keep in your jeans pocket in case you find yourself in the emergency room:

Bacteria – back door to the cafeteria

Barium – what they do when patients die

Benign – what you be after you be eight

Cat scan – all out search for kitty

Coma – a punctuation mark

Dilate – to live long

firearms

Enema – not a friend

Fibula – a small lie

Impotent – distinguished or well known

Labor pain – getting hurt at work

Nitrates – Rates of pay for the night crew

Outpatient – a patient who has fainted

Recovery Room – a place to do upholstery

Seizure – an eyetalian emperor

Terminal illness – getting sixk at the airport

Urine –Opposite of you’re out.

Bare – an alcoholic beverage made from hops and barley.  “Take two bares and go to bed and you’ll feel better in the morning.”

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