Notes from a gullible skeptic

gullibleI was born a skeptic. The weather man says it will snow and I scoff because frankly it typically only snows when  there has been no mention of it in the forecast.

“The guvment guy” says he’s here to help and I let out a unladylike hoot, because we all know that’s unlikely.

But on the road to skepticism I’ve had to pass through the valley of

corttage

gullibility which materializes when I hear about something healthy that is also fun and tasty.

When it comes to diet and health I tend to be a tad more lenient especially when miracles are promised.  A friend of mine has assumed the role of my cancer coach and he has put me on a diet of flaxseed oil frothed up in the blender with cottage cheese. He tried to make me believe it tastes like oatmeal, but my nose feels like it’s been snorting cold cream laced with motor oil.

mushroom

He has also got me taking an extract produced from a Asian fungi commonly known as “dancing mushrooms.”  So far, it hasn’t improved my performance on the dance floor, but it’s still early.  This parasitic extract grows on the caterpillars of particular moths.  Yum.

I’ve been  following the protocol quite faithfully – well, up to a point.  When he told me I must cut out all sugar (which includes white flour, potatoes, pasta and white rice). I became skeptical again.  Surely something as finger licking good as milk chocolate kisses and gooey cupcakes could never harm us.

And how on earth does one celebrate a birthday without cake and ice cream?

I changed my mind when I read that losing the sugar could take 20 years off my looks.    My inner skeptic went back to sleep and my gullible side stood at attention..  I’m in on this sugar thing.  To prove it I polished off a half of a Karo Pecan Pie which had been lurking in the freezer since Christmas Day.

On January 1, I began my diet of vegetables, low-sugar fruits and limited lean meats. I fully expect to look 30 years old again by Easter (okay, make that 45).

simple truth

Anything processed which comes in a convenient package is now off limits.  Perusing the grocery ads this week, I noticed that 90 percent of their promotional items were processed – like fruit loops, TV dinners and snacks like Fiddle Faddles.

Come-on Mr. Grocer, help us out here.  I do compliment Kroger on its new “Simple Truth” line of organics.  They are on special this week and I’ll be stocking up for next month when empty snacks designed for Super Bowl parties tempt us to toss our good intentions to the wind.

7 thoughts on “Notes from a gullible skeptic

  1. Bill Poe can help you! He’s been after the Poes forever to improve our diets. He finally had some influence on me as I have adopted the paleo diet and have never felt better! He still has some work to do on my parents and brothers though!

  2. I did what I called the “modified” Sugar Busters diet during a session: no bread, potatoes, rice or pasta. Killed me, I love bread. Didn’t change anything else, drinking, eating, exercise. Lost five lbs. Amazing.

  3. Yeah, but Al,… since when have you had a problem with your weight?!!

    Emily, good work! I’m starting to try the diet where you have 3/4 of your plate filled with vegetables/fruits, only 1/4 protein. Maybe a little whole grain… like brown rice. Of course, I’m still chasing the Christmas leftovers out of the house. Kudos for having polished off that pecan pie. 🙂

    Love you!
    Carole

  4. Hi Al – that sounds like the cancer diet recommended for me. I’m getting heavy into things like quinoa and flax seed oil and other heretofore “foreign” items. Carole – I too, and trying a plant based diet with little fish and chicken. But it’s hard to buy fish – esepcially shrimp sincenever know what you are getting from Thailand or Vietnam. Also distrustful of Gulf Shrimp which is still recovering from oil spills. What’s a person to do?

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