Private message for folks over 40

elite

I think I’ve educated all my friends about how much I detest “forwarded messages” with butterflies burping hearts and all that drivel.  I only want PERSONAL messages, from the heart, but occasionally a few slide through. 

This one was too good not to share because I could have written it.  In fact, it bears no resemblance to the original message which was written for children of the 80s.  Imagine that. Each paragraph has been edited to reflect my fabulous generation – children of the 50s.  So sue me.

“When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way  I was going to tell my children how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it! But now that…. I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today haven’t a clue!

brary You youngsters today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

When you got to drive, gas cost 25 cents a gallon.  When Daddy let me have the car on Friday night, I assessed everyone a dime and I made enough money to finance a trip to the Ritz theater on Saturday (if I didn’t have a date.) If you could pack 10 teenagers in the vehicle you had a dollar!  That was big money, baby!

There was no e-mail!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 6 cents -the same as Cokes.  Stamps are now what? Forty something cents and cokes are what,  a buck nineteen?  Where are our priorities?

Child Protective Services  didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to spank us if it was necessary.  Then we got another one when we got home.

We didn’t have Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it! And we didn’t have Caller ID either!  When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your  a collections agent, you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances!

We didn’t have a computer with word perfect where you could edit out a typo in an instant. We had a ELITE (remember those?) typewriter with carbon paper.  You made an error, you started over with new paper.. until the marvelous invention of CORRETO.  You painted over it like you did your toenails, but everyone knew, because it could be chisseled off like putty.

And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1959!

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