Some docs are ‘out to lunch’


You may have already seen some of these.  They are reportedly taken from actual notes made on hospital charts from across the country.  Makes you want to stay well:

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicide.

3. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.


4. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
6. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
7. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
8. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.14. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
14. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
15. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
18. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Number 20 was to outrageous to print. 

2 thoughts on “Some docs are ‘out to lunch’

  1. These are too funny! Am I allowed to copy and email to friends or is there a copyright law or something that would require me to spend my remaining retirement in prison should I copy it? I’d give you full credit, of course.

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