Staying on top of the fashion rollercoaster

big coat

(The Deluded team is experiencing some minor problems as a result of a change in ownership of the company which publishs and stores our material.  Sorry for the confusion – reposting “fashion forecast” since it did not appear in its entirety.)

As a wannabe diva, I always strive to keep up with what’s IN and OUT in the world of fashion. 

Unfortunately, I typically wear what was hot 12 seasons ago or what WILL be fabulous in 2018.

Take the shoulder pads for example.  I am still wearing my 1988 models – have been for as long as I can remember.  The Velcro is so worn, they often fall out at the most inopportune moments – like at a baseball game. 

“Hey Em, think you just lost something,” says one of my friends holding up the wayward pad.  The smerk on his face tells me he thinks it is something other than a shoulder pad.  The worst is when they slip down to the bottom of my sleeve and I can’t find them. 

 Now I learn they are back – bigger and better than ever!  I predicted it last season, but it’s taken 18 months for the manufacturers to catch up.  Here’s what else you can expect for the upcoming season:

* The Big Black coat is back.  Lucky me, I’ve been wearing Linda Clark’s black cashmere coat since she died in 1999.  She gave it to me a month before she died.  She loved that coat and knew I was the right person to care for it.   It hasn’t missed a winter since, and I can still smell her perfume.

* PINK!  Hallelujah!  Anyone who knows me knows my obsession with pink. It’s been gauche for years, which is why I’ve looked sallow and sick for years. 

* THE AFRO – Another shout for joy.  I am a pink, big haired kind of girl and I figure I can do “Afro” even though my couffeur leans toward Albino strings – teased of course.

*Paying full price is out.  Joy in the morning.  I’m told Neiman Marcus is offering its Chanel boucle jacket for $3400 (they are typically $5,000 or more).  Pradas are under $500.  I’m catching the next plane to Dallas.

* Shopping thrift stores is in.  I just canceled my plane ticket for Dallas.  Instead, I’m off to Dirt Cheap.

In other good news, bubble skirts are out, out, out.  I never understood the concept anyway.  Why would any woman want her rear end to book like the Goodyear Blimp.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll actually be in fashion this year.  Like Haley’s Comet, if you wait around long before coming out of hiding, people will appreciate you again.

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