An entirely new language is evolving as technology invades every area of our lives. Here are a few to which I relate – well, all except the cannaversary. Since I work for myself, I have decided to keep myself on the payroll a bit longer.
Social “notworking” (as opposed to networking)
The practice of spending time unproductively on social-networking websites, especially when one should be working. I’m well familiar with this practice.
The way one’s hair can look first thing in the morning, sticking straight up in all directions. Lately we tend to use hair products to achieve this look.
A driver and/or car that goes consistently under the speed limit, causing a backup of 20+ cars, creating frustration and your ability to be where you want to be on time. It’s always good for an excuse for being late. “Gee boss, I’m very sorry that I’m 10 minutes late. I got caught behind a parade maker.
The movements you make with your hand when trying to get your tv to recognize your remote control. All remote dances are different, but most involve twisting your hand around until the remote is almost upside down, thinking that for some reason that will help. “Last night I remote danced for like five minutes trying to turn the volume up.”
The loudness one adopts in response to a bad cell-phone connection, in the misguided hope that talking louder will improve the connection. I notice many people become “yellular” automatically when answering their cells. “I’m so embarrassed. I went totally yellular at a restaurant last night.”
Intentionally rewashing clothing simply because you don’t feel like putting it away. Oh man, I’ve done this so many times its embarrassing.”I had a shirt I knew was clean, but I was too lazy to hang it up so I just kept it in laundry limbo.”
The theory that the internet phrase lol,meaning “laugh out loud”, can be placed at any part in any sentence and make said sentence lose all credibilty and seriousness.
A year from the date on which you were fired from a job. “Next week is my canniversary from Enron!”