Who Dat? Da Clampetts?


I think I may have some Jeb Clampett DNA in my hereditary make-up. I’m sitting on a chair without legs trying to figure out what to do with a haul of stuff we picked up in Nashville over the weekend.

My eldest son and I spent eight hours driving the back roads of Tennessee and Mississippi with three dogs, a 60-inch high-definition television set, two jugs of imported olive oil, and Christmas gifts for our family and friends.

Stuffed in between was my beautiful new dream chair which I purchased at an import store.  It had to be dismantled in order to find a place for my son’s 90-pound golden retriever.

To get it all in my diminutive SUV, we had to do some creative packing which included taking the legs off my new chair.  We also had to adjust our seats so near the dash we had wrinkles on our foreheads from the sun visors.

What precipitated this situation was a football game. We are unapologetic “Who Dat” talking, gumbo eating, New Orleans Saints fans. So this weekend, we traveled to Nashville to visit my youngest son and attend the Saints/Titans football game.

We dressed in our Drew Brees jerseys and prepared to watch the Saints annihilate the Titans. The game was both disappointing and exhilarating.   The Saints were having a bad day, but  bottom line, we won with a goal line stand in the final six seconds. And that’s all I have to say about that.

In the meantime, my boys surprised me with a humongous high-def television for Christmas. It’s so big I could set it in the front yard and open up a  drive-in movie theatre.  All I need is a popcorn machine for the front porch.

Before being so royally “gifted”, I had  purchased the chair which would be the crème de la crème in my newly redecorated den. I was planning to use a 10-inch television set which fits snuggly inside an armoire.

Where would I put this big boy  ? Suddenly I was seeing my beautiful new den morph into a man-cave.   Next, they will want to trade off my new “Eyetalian” chair for a pair of Barcaloungers.

I guess my boys knew what I needed.  We got it all hooked up and I can finally watch my favorite shows without squinting. I was also tickled piink to see that Diane Sawyer has wrinkles almost as bad as mine!

Now, if I can just find the legs to my chair…

Emily Jones is a retired journalist who edits a website for bouncing baby boomers facing retirement.  She welcomes comments at www.deludeddiva.com.

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