Adventure of a lifetime


I like playing games and mind games are my specialty. I discovered a new secret mind game this morning as I tried in vain to motivate myself to begin The Great Decrap campaign – you know the one we begin with each New Year when we feel like we can conquer the world and get our lives organized at the same time.

In her now famous book “Throw Out 50 Things” Gail Blanke suggests that we will find new freedom and creativity if we will throw out, give away, or burn 50 things that no longer give us joy. Heck I can’t say ANYTHING I own has ever given me real joy. Well, there WAS that 1962 Thunderbird Daddy finally decided I was old enough to drive and he gave it to me. (I was 64 years old.)

While few things have brought lasting joy, many things have caused me pain especially that black blouse I bought in September, which featured ten-inch fringe sleeves. I had read fringe was going to be hot for fall so I didn’t even try it on. I plunked down my Belk card and walked out with the world’s ugliest garment.

I wore it to a church pot-luck. Instead of being a fashion plate I brought home everything on my plate – dangling accusingly from those hideous sleeves.

The fringe was coated with everything Mac&Cheese to hot coffee laced with bleu cheese dressing.

Blanke says decluttering should be considered “the adventure of a lifetime.” It’s a widely accepted fact that adding “adventure of a lifetime” to any activity will make it more fun. I decided to test the hypothesis while dejunking my life of 50 things. The blouse will be item one on my “toss 50 things” crusade.

I took a hoe and pushed everything out from under my bed. Along with a dozen 40-year old issues of Southern Living Magazine, there were four half chewed dog bones and a lost black pump I’ve been searching for since since 2005. I finally gave up the search and threw away the surviving pump so I’m still stuck with one half of a pair of shoes.

The shoe became item number two in my declutter campaign. The magazines, dog bones, three empty storage containers with no lids, and one prune pit brought the total to 19 I was almost halfway to complete freedom and the adventure of a lifetime. I moved on to another lifetime adventure guaranteed to round out the challenge – The Junk Drawer. You know you have one, doesn’t everyone?

The drawer threw up three keys to unknown places, five dried up pens, and my missing set of measuring spoons which I accused Pee-Diddy the cat of hiding and a pack of microwave popcorn which had been punctured and grains of popcorn were stuck to the important stuff.

Next week’s adventures of a lifetime might include teaching Pee-Diddy to change her own litter box. or tearing out the wall between my kitchen and dining room. But first I need to get some work done which amounts to watching the final season of “How to Train Your Dragon.” I’m dedicated to my work….

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