Don’t talk dirty to me, you dirty thing

dirtyMy life just got even more simple.  All my hair fell out this week.

Well all but a hank in the front which is kind of cute if you focus on it and ignore the rest of the head which I discovered is slightly “coned,” . (Yes, I’m have cone-heads in my family tree.)

If my hank falls, I’m thinking of super-gluing it on so I’ll have

turlesomething to peak out of my turtle fur cap someone gave me for Christmas in anticipation of my inevitable balding period.  Don’t ask me about turtle fur because I think the tag is pulling my leg.  Says the cap was constructed from turtle fur trapped in some exotic country.

But I digress.  Back to dirty talking.  I don’t have to wash my hair any longer because there’s none to wash.  So now I can enjoy my bath without having to get those suds in my eyes.  The hair dryer is going into mothballs and my hot rods are being laid off.

As I was googling how to clean hairless heads (I’m after that shiny look) I stumbled across a post on the dirtiest thing in your house.  Are you ready for this.  You might want to sit down.  With a barf bag.


Ta Da – it’s your toothbrush.  Yes.  Can you believe it? Your toothbrush is a damp, disgusting device which harbors all kinds of icky bacteria.

To keep it in the best shape possible, store it away from other icky,  bacteria laden toothbrushes, so there’s no touching.

Also, make sure it gets air so it can dry out completely in between brushings.  You can soak it for a few minutes in hydrogen peroxide and repeat often.  I’m also going to put mine in the dishwasher every time I run it.

Some people even go so far as to have 2 toothbrushes which they alternate between uses to ensure one is always completely dry.  But that’s crazy talk. Crazy dirty talk.

6 thoughts on “Don’t talk dirty to me, you dirty thing

  1. Emily, I just pulled all my hair out at one time when I discovered how easy it was. I wore a wig for 11 months. Warning—it gets so easy to plop that on your head that it spoils you for when your hair grows back and you have to fool with it again! Just know that I’m praying for your complete healing.

  2. I know Elsie! Yesterday I sat and pulled my hair out while reading a book and it wasn’t all that traumatic. Kind of fascinating in a way and satisfying when I’d grab a huge chunk – but then I’m easily entertained. I didn’t realize you are a survivor. Thanks for letting me know.

  3. Emily, I love following your blog and like my Mother, even during this hairless state, you look beautiful.

  4. OMG…I always wanted to be bald….not necessarily the way you got there. Loved the fashion a few years ago where “CHick South California Girls” we’re shaving their heads….Enjoy ,,,

  5. Emily as always you inspire me and amaze me at your ability to see the humor in life no matter what. Your writings are more incredible than ever. I thought you might need some help with the site, but my goodness you are going stronger than ever! You go girl!

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