Don’t you dare touch my collar!


My girl friends and I were chatting over a healthy lunch of fried green tomatoes and dill pickles today at the Little Dooey – the premier barbeque place in my town. As our cholesterol climbed into the danger zone we got serious.

Having covered all the current gossip and solved all the world problems, our discussion turned to pet peeves. Would you believe we all have the exact same pet peeve…no wonder we’ve been friends for 50 years!

We hate it when some one tries to turn down our collars! Hate it! Hate it! Hate it! Want to slug them. “Why thank you kindly for turning down my collar,” we say through clinched teeth. In truth we are seething inwardly and feeling something bordering on rage.

If my collar is turned up, it’s because I WANT IT THAT WAY. OKAY? Norma, Linda and Ruthie agree with me. We happen to like our collars standing up, James Dean style.

To all you “Collar Turner Downers” out there. STOP. If our collars are turned up it’s because we want them that way. It looks cool and we are still trying very hard to look cool. Don’t spoil it for us! So, there.

Oh, I feel so much better having gotten that off my chest. Anybody else got a peeve you’d like to share. It really is quite exhilarating. Send it to me and I promise not to reveal your identity. Incidentally, Rembrandt is the one who made stand up collars a fashion statement. Betcha no one tried to turn his collar down!

5 thoughts on “Don’t you dare touch my collar!

  1. OK, what about people who make faces while everyone at the dinner table converses, yet never have anything to contribute to the conversation.
    Sometimes I wish I were their group therapist — I’d call ’em on that. Grrr!
    Must just be a cover for being socially inept! And when the kids are at the table, you see them doing the same thing. Can’t really blame the kids, can you?

  2. Oh my gosh. I’m your pet peeve. I make faces all the time…in fact that’s my favorite way of communicating. We have a family member who says “Inerds” about every three words. Inerds is her short cut to “In other words” but my sons and I have begun counting the INERDS. I think we’re up to 65 during one meal. But we make a face at each other every time we hear “INERDS” – I apologize

  3. Em,
    Guess I can’t advise you to “bite your tongue” when this person says “innerds” , now can I. How about, “Bite your face?” Nay!

    And speaking of that, “nay” is ANOTHER word I hate when it’s used as another way of discounting the other person’s feelings or thoughts just expressed. I especially hate it when it’s done to an elderly person by a younger one. Then, it’s just plain rude.

    This and “making faces” including the dreaded eye rolling are “blocks to communication.” That’s why the face thing and other non-verbal communication comes under fire in therapy.

  4. Now here’s a good one. Not sure it’s all that high on the scale, however.

    Occasionally, I’m forced into the company of some ladies who, when they run out of something to say (which is most of the time, even when they are talking), they just hum. Yep, one will hum and the other will return the hum. I mean it’s like some kinda mating call or something. I always wonder if I should hum back, but then I might accidently hum something really naughty since I don’t know hum language, so I just sit there and pray for my time to be up.

    Hint: You may have seen a skit on Saturday Night Live in which some women did this. I’m not so sure it’s the humming so much as it is the “air-brainness” of people not being able to converse in an intelligent manner that bugs me the most.

  5. Okay. I’m stumped. How do you hum something naughty? I REALLY want to know. Next time I’m stumped for something to say, I want to be able to hum naughtily!

    Are we really cousins? I’m one of those people who talk incessantly even when I run out of something to say!

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