I purchased a Heil heating/cooling system because I thought it was supposed to be one of the best. It’s been nothing but trouble, from … forever. Rebel and I are freezing to death!

It’s ten years old and causing me major problems…again. I thought I’d already replaced everything but its hips. Since I hate gas heat anyway, I would let it go if I didn’t have all my girlfriends – the West Point High School Marganitas – coming on December 13 to celebrate our 50-12 birthday.

When I returned from my trip to Nashville on Monday and discovered I had no heat, my repair man said he could get a part and make it work by this weekend. “Heil Heatler” decided I don’t need heat until somewhere around the middle of Spring. They will ship it when they feel like it, and I can simply “heat my heels” ’til they decide it’s time for me to thaw out.

Since I know you can ship anything anywhere in less than 24 hours, I wonder if they start production when someone calls with a problem. I would be desperate, except that I have two puppies who are like little heaters.

I also have two fireplaces and a small electric blanket that Lucky hogs all by her 10- pound self. But I wonder what people not so primitive do, when HEIL HEATLER says “not now.”

If I don’t freeze to death and I make it through the winter, I’m declaring World War Three against Mr. Heil -the bad heatler.