The Deluded Diva

How to maintain a healthy level of insanity


My friend, Martha, sent me the following and I’m wondering why I haven’t tried these steps before…

To  Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. In  the memo field of all your checks write “For Marijuana.”

2. Order  a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with  a serious face.

3. Specify  That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To  Go’.

4. Sing Along At  The Opera.

5. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their Party  because you have a  headache.

6. When  leaving the Zoo, start running toward  the parking
lot, yelling ‘Run  For Your Lives! They’re loose!’

7. Tell  your children over dinner and inform them, ‘Due To The  Economy, we are going to have to let one of you  go.’

8. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down.

9. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”

10.   As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Everyone will know you’ve finally reached a healthy level of insanity.

And, my own personal favorite – place a kitchen timer in your handbag.  Turn it up to 15 minutes and walk through a store or business.  You’ll clear it out in no time flat and have the whole place to yourself!

Enjoy  The Ride, Life is Short!!

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