My friend, Martha, sent me the following and I’m wondering why I haven’t tried these steps before…
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. In the memo field of all your checks write “For Marijuana.”
2. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
3. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.
4. Sing Along At The Opera.
5. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their Party because you have a headache.
6. When leaving the Zoo, start running toward the parking
lot, yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re loose!’
7. Tell your children over dinner and inform them, ‘Due To The Economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.’
8. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
9. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
10. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Everyone will know you’ve finally reached a healthy level of insanity.
And, my own personal favorite – place a kitchen timer in your handbag. Turn it up to 15 minutes and walk through a store or business. You’ll clear it out in no time flat and have the whole place to yourself!
Enjoy The Ride, Life is Short!!