It is what it is! Or is it?

I let the stupidest non-issues get on my last nerve and turn me into a raging termagant which, for your information, is the female version of an old curmudgeon.

Remember that word “termagant” because if you’re female you’re probably carrying the gene. The condition begins to present itself with advancing age and loss of the inhibitions which once kept us civil and gave us the reputation as “sweet young things.” The aging beauty can turn into the beast if you get her riled up. But hey, it is what it is, right?

I’m not alone in my aversion to this phrase which makes me bristle every time I hear it. The phrase is popular with today’s sports  and politicians because, like all clichés, it helps them avoid speaking about the real issues.

In a recent Time Magazine survey “It is what it is” ranked right up there with “Just Sayin” and “Whatever” as the most annoying contemporary expressions which should pass immediately into oblivion.

My mental panty hose get in a wad every time I hear that ridiculous worn out pseudo intellectual statement. Well, of course it is what it is, Einstein. How could it be what it’s not!? The first time I overheard someone say “It is what it is,” I was almost relieved. Then, I thought it through and realized the phrase excuses all sorts of bad behavior and conditions.

I tested the premise in my own life. My thighs are fine thank you very much. Go ahead and pass me a chocolate-covered donut—no make that the whole bag because there’s nothing I can do about my thighs or anything else in this ole world. It is what it is, they are what they are, and what will be will be. (Do they make Capri pants in size 75 because that’s what I’ll be needing very soon.)

See what I mean? “It is what it is” represents the ultimate cop-out, hinting there’s not one thing in the world you can do about anything at all, so just go ahead and wallow in the messes of your life. Well, not yours specifically. I’m thinking of our collective messes like litter on the highways and cruelty to animals. Hey, no problem, it is what it is. I think not, and the termagant lurking in my brain is about to get riled up.

I’m about to ram the rear of a vehicle because he’s stopped at a green light texting on his cell phone while traffic is backed up to the moon. BAM! He hops out of his car screaming at me and I reply blithely “Settle down, junior, it is what it is.” See how society could disintegrate into a million pieces if we live by those five words?

So, please, America. Let’s adopt some new expressions. My personal favorite is “alrighty then” which means whatever you want it to mean. Alrighty then sweetie! You are forgiven! What’s an alrighty then among friends! I equate it with “Don’t sweat the small stuff! It is water under the bridge and it will all come out in the wash! Alrighty then have a good day now!”