Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! I used that phrase a few days ago, then wondered where it came from.

So, here it is 4 a.m. I’m getting my ducks in a row to face the music and greet the new day on a wing and a prayer, hoping I don’t get egg

on my face or  be driven to cry crocodile tears.  I expect to I’ll caught between a rock and a hard place sometime before the sun goes down.  

You know all the old hackneyed phrases.  We use them mindlessly. You could translate the above paragraph thusly:  Darwin sucks. I’m organizing my schedule and praying for a good day, free from embarrassment or sorrow, knowing full well that every morning is the dawning of a new error.

Here are a few latter day truths:

• Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
• Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
• Diplomacy – the art of letting someone have your way.
• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 
• I married "Mr. Right". Unfortunately, I didn’t know that his first name was "Always.”
• I am planning to be more spontaneous in the future.
• Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you need more. 
• There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
• The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.