Let me tell you about the break up of my family – the folks I spend time with on a daily basis.

First there’s Cousin Willie and his sidekick, Mrs. Dash. We typically watch the news together every evening. Cousin Willie is my favorite brand of microwave popcorn and Mrs. Dash gives the couz a bit of a kick. Unfortunately we’re not getting along these days.

It all started about three weeks ago. My specks were at the other end of the kichen when I popped Cousin Willie into the microwave. I sqauinted at the dial and punched what I thought was the popcorn button and shuffled outside to water my roses.

Ten minutes later, with visions of settling down with a big bowl of fluffy popcorn and the evening news, I was almost knocked down by a foul smell upon entering the house. Thick billows of smoke were churning throughout the space and the smell would kill a herd of pigs. My puppies Rebel and Lucky were rolling on the floor covering their noses with their paws.

The only thing I can figure is that I must have pressed the “bakekd potato ” button which is one row above the “popcorn” command and about three times as many minutes on high.

Is there any smell worse than burned popcorn? Even though I cleaned the soot off the inside of the oven, everything in the house continues to reek of burned popcorn. When I reheat my coffee is tastes of burned popcorn, and my home now has tinted windows which I got free of charge.

When I dropped in to visit my neighbor, she took a whiff and said “Been burning popcorn, have you?”

I went on line to get some tips on neutralizing the odor. According to “Hints from Heloise” this is among the top ten questions she received so I guess I have lots of company. She suggests combining 1/2 cup lemon juice and 1/2 cup of water in a 4-cup microwave safe contained. Place it in the microwave and heat on high until the water boils and creates steam. The steam will help eliminate the lingering odor.

If the smell is really stubborn, she says to follow up with some baking soda on a damp sponge and scrub th interior surfaces of the microwave.

I’m still estranged from Cousin Willie and Mrs. Dash. I carry with me a vivid memory of that olfactory assault on my senses. It has blunted my taste buds and given me a phobia-like fear of cooking popcorn. You might call me a popaphobic, you think?