I don’t watch mainstream television any longer although I did watch six seasons of “Murder She Wrote” on my new Roku 3 over the weekend.
In case you’re wondering, that’s about 75 episodes, and writer/sleuth Jessica Fletcher (aka Angela Lansbury) is my new role model.
I’ve begun saying “mer-dah” just like Jessie, and I bought a wicker basket for my bike so I can peddle around my Mississippi version of Cabot Cove. (Note to myself: Befriend the local sheriff so I can help him solve the tough crimes.) I may even begin writing my columns on an old Royal type writer. But that’s a story for another day.
One of the nice things about the Roku is that programs are devoid of the dreaded commercial breaks for stuff you don’t want or need. I vaguely remember a Staples commercial where employees are in the middle of a giant mess and suddenly a reset button appears. Someone hits it and all is well again as quickly as you can say “Batrachomyomachy” which means making mountains out of a molehills, one of my great talents.
I’ve long thought humans should come equipped with a reset button to instantly and completely correct all the minor disasters in our lives. I figure I have an estimated half dozen each day – from lost key freak-outs to panic attacks from stupid snafus…like the one I had this month when I paid my cell phone bill on-line to the wrong company. I clicked on AT&T (my old carrier) rather than C-spire (my new carrier) and almost got my service canceled.
Well, Holy Christmas (someone said that on an episode of Murder She Wrote), I found the human reset button, folks, and it works like a charm. No batteries necessary.
I should write a book about this and make millions of dollars but you’re going to get it free of charge. (I do love Peanut Butter Cups and hydrangeas in case you want to express your appreciation.)
When life begins to spin out of control for reasons big or small, here’s what you do. You simply pump your palm out in front of you like the Supremes singing “Stop in the Name of Love.” You can swing your hips if you’re so inclined, while mentally shouting “Stop”. Take a deep cleansing breath, exhale and count out loud “five, four, three, two, one…Reboot.” Done and done. Peace and calm returns and you can resume your activities with a fresh new peaceful feeling. You calmly clean up the mess and start over.
A friend uses this trick with her second grade class to bring order in less than ten seconds. If it works for seven year olds, think what it can do for you. When I lose control I typically lose my temper, burst into tears and throw the nearest object up against the wall. This technique is a much less destructive solution to life’s curve balls and you won’t have to be apologizing all the time.
I tested out the technique several times and it works. It’s magical…kind of like doing surgery with a butter knife. I wish someone had taught me this simple trick when I was seven. My whole life would be different and I would probably be less neurotic.