As the year 2014 draws down to a precious few hours, I’m struck by how many of my high-minded goals for the year have not been reached – or in some cases, even attempted.

Let’s see, that gives me about a week to lose ten pounds, paint the house and go back to the university to get a degree in horticulture. I’m pretty sure those aren’t doable objectives before the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve. Feeling like an utter failure I sat down this week to strategize about the positive steps I CAN take to salvage this year – no small task for someone who starts her to-do list each day with a reminder to do the to-do list.

Each month I glance at the list – pick out the fun stuff and tell myself I’ll get to the others “someday.” In my world, Someday is just as real as Saturday or Sunday, it just never seems to roll around.

What with all the Christmas shopping, cooking and cleaning, I’ll be lucky to skid into New Years without having a nervous breakdown.

Isn’t it funny how at the beginning of a new year you think you can do anything and you set all these lofty goals for yourself with visions of how perfect things will be when you check them off the list? Then, life gets in the way and you are distracted by un-fun things like doing your taxes, cleaning out the gutters or having brain surgery.

I’m proposing we add a new weekday called “Someday” where we can catch up on all those little pet projects which when performed give us a stunning feeling of accomplishment. Some of the best things I’ve ever done were performed while procrastinating something else I should have been doing. I call this “creative procrastination”. Seems to me a bit of well timed procrastination can lead to us producing better work – IF we ever get around to it. 

And just think, by adding an eighth day to the week, we will age much less rapidly. I’d tell you exactly how much but my calculator is no longer in the junk drawer where it has hung out forever – until I cleaned out the drawer and moved it somewhere.

With great pomposity I boldly checked off one goal proving the year was not a waste after all. So what if it took me just shy of 12 months to clean out the junk drawer? All calendars should carry a warning that states “dates on this calendar are much closer than they appear.” I guess my goals for 2015 are to accomplish the goals for 2014 which I should have done in 2013 after not getting them done in 2012. 

Oh hang it all, this year I will set New Years goals I can actually keep.  I vow not to drive away from the gas station without disengaging the pump and I’ll finally finish off that five-year old Chapstick thereby freeing even more space in the junk drawer. I will renew the gym membership I’ll never use again and write a weekly newspaper column where I never let the facts get in the way of a good story.  Oh wait!  I did that already.

My Happy New Year wish for you is for your best year yet: A year where life is peaceful,and what you want, you get.