Shame on Paula Deen & Martha Stewart

I’m done with these two women who I believe are evil. 

They put forward lofty ideas of entertaining in a style which could only be attained with the help of a legion of chefs and helpers, while the lowly homemaker – already exhausted from cooking, cleaning and gift hunting –  thinks she must put on something equally spectacular.

I spent five days cooking and freezing a total of ten dishes including five appetizers, turkey and dressing, (Paula’s recipe was so bland I would have gotten more compliments serving cornbread crumbled in buttermilk), three salads which were complicated and tasted awful and five other sides.  Should I go on?

My entire Christmas dinner was downright embarrassing especially since I overestimated what my small oven could handle at one time and Braddock had to take three casseroles home to his house to bake off.  Brenda took the rest.

I had planned to serve dinner at 1 p.m. – instead it became supper after waiting for all the casserole to be baked off in various ovens around town.  Never again, I told my family.  Next year I’m making a big pot of chili (which I could make blindfolded with one arm tied behind my back) and maybe a gumbo.  

My 2015 modus operandi has been labeled SOP – Simplify, organize and plan.  Apparently I incorporated none of those principals in my 2014 Christmas dinner.  I couldn’t even stand to face all the leftovers of the seasonal fare which was either undercooked or overcooked depending on whose oven did the deed.

I tried to keep a sense of humor about it all, but I burst into tears after everyone left this morning.  I will never watch another cooking show or use any recipe that contains more than five ingredients.  And Paula Deen or Martha Stewart will never present their food porn on my television set again in this lifetime.