The Deluded Diva

The sky is falling

crtash

Not to worry, Henny Penny.

They say a satellite the size of an SUV will fall to Earth sometime tomorrow or Monday.  But don’t worry your pretty little head. It probably won’t single you out for a hard landing.

Huh?  I’m sorry, but I’m worried. I went out and moved all my heirloom plants inside then realized I was only inviting the SUV to crash through my roof.  I moved the plants back outside and told them they were on their own.

The unmanned satellite from the European Space Agency is plummeting from its orbit as I write this post, with absolutely no way to pinpoint if it could crash near you or me.

The 400 pound hunk of metal  is expected to crash land between Sunday night and Monday afternoon in whereabouts unknown after the spacecraft ran out gas last month. Come on you crazy Europeans, can’t you plan better than that?  Rule Number 1: Don’t take a trip if you don’t have any way of refueling!

The probability of the satellite crashing in your backyard is minuscule, says the “Guvment.” You’re more likely to get struck by lightning between Sunday night and Monday morning.  So they say.  When have you ever known any Guvment to tell you the truth?

The likelihood it will even hit land is only about 30 percent, considering the Earth is 70 percent water. Then again, if it actually did take out your house, would you be able to do anything about it? According to the President of the Space and Technology Policy Group, Marcia S. Smith, guvments “are responsible for their own spacecraft,” and if you are the innocent target, your heirs could file a claim.

Small consolation.  Just thought you might need something else to worry about….sorry.

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