Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don’t ‘HAVE’ them, you ‘PITCH’ them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up ‘a mess.’
_____Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of ‘yonder.’
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long ‘directly’ is, . as in: ‘Going to town, be back directly.’
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Even Southern babies know that ‘Gimme some shugah’ is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when ‘by and by’ is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between ‘right near’ and ‘a right far piece.’ They also know that ‘just down the road’ can be 1 mile or 20.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that ‘fixin’ can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re ‘in line,’ . we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y’all is singular, all y’all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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When you hear someone say, ‘Well, I caught myself lookin’,’ you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say ‘sweet tea’, ‘sweet milk’, and ‘light bread’. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. ‘Sweet milk’ means you don’t want buttermilk. And ‘Light bread’ is white bread._____
And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,’Bless her heart’ …. and go your own way
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads ‘I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.’
